my dog hates my new boyfriend

my dog hates my new boyfriend

I’m stressed and scared. A good dog is harder to find. If you’re anything like me, you’d be saying “I don’t care what it costs; I’ll take out a second mortgage. My friend had handed her boyfriend a glass of wine, and that’s what set Obie off. Usually, when problems occur between a dog owner’s partner and the dog, it’s because the relationship is new and neither party quite knows what the other wants, what’s a deal-breaker, and what can be negotiated. Ben was trying to be friendly, but his posture and direct eye contact were apparently perceived as a threat by the dog. It’s like they say – you can always get another partner. When my girl takes issue with a man, I get my hackles up, too: What is it she knows that I don't? You already know how you touch your dog, so add words to the interaction. If your dog doesn’t seem to like your boyfriend, you should allow the two to bond in a neutral setting, such as a dog park. © Copyright 2021 The Globe and Mail Inc. All rights reserved. Is he destructive? Follow topics and authors relevant to your reading interests. If your dog shies away when your significant other is petting him or her, work with words. There’s no rule that says “One must be touched”. Click here to subscribe. Others become anxious or show signs of aggression, like growling or baring their teeth. Sometimes, it can be well-nigh impossible to understand the source of the problem your dog and your partner are having with one another. This is where you have to put your detective hat on, and start digging. Internet rages over abandoned dog: Should the owner get a second chance? You need to be specific about what you expect in the context of your partner’s relationship with your dog, and you have the right to demand that your partner do the same. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re going to be pooling resources, you absolutely have to talk about money, and not just how to divide household expenses. Ruby sensed that, and you were all 'love me, love my dog.' In any relationship, there are going to be differences of opinion and different personality styles. Every time he comes in the door, my dog barks at him. … I don't want her to give up her dog, but I don't want people to end relationships that could work. You might also have to compromise where your dog is concerned. She was a smart woman. Though Heying’s boyfriend didn’t have a problem with the dogs individually, he did have an issue with their number. Mariella Frostrup says she needs to focus on the real causes of … Now that you have an idea of how to help your significant other and your dog interact in a way that’s favorable to both, it’s important to understand that this isn’t the only relationship that may need work. I believe that compromising is the most important thing you can do in ensuring a loving, healthy relationship between your significant other and your dog. ", Instead, Fisher recommends finding out more about the connection between man and dog: "Some people aren't dog people, and that's okay.". New But my dog is afraid of men, so now what? You get the idea. If they’re not, they could lead to trouble later on (see 2.). One night she invited her boyfriend over for a spaghetti dinner and a nice bottle of wine, and Obie, who was usually just fine with visitors, positioned himself between my friend and her boyfriend, showed all 97 of his teeth, and made it very clear that there had better not be even one more step forward. Pin. Much of the time, you and only you. She gets along with everyone else: the mailman, pizza-delivery guys, all my friends. The dog thinks, “Nasty boyfriend/girlfriend says ‘Rocco’ and gives Rocco treats! Linda Michaels, dog psychologist and author of Do No Harm Dog Training and Behavior Manual: Sadly, but most likely, no one’s going to feel the way you feel about your pet. My grandmother always used to say that there were only two things that would ever cause trouble in a relationship – money, and in-laws. My boyfriend hates my dog and won’t let him at his apartment, but insists I stay there. Thank you for your patience. What could possibly be wrong? http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/help-my-dog-doesnt-like-my-husband, https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101007024551AA86BUH, https://people.com/pets/dog-hates-partner-tips/, https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/when-your-partner-hates-your-dog-addressing-disputes-over-pets-0820137, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Odd_Couple_(1970_TV_series), Creating a Fear-Free Vet Experience for Your Dog (Video). Like just looking at it makes me blood boil at this point. Share. Or, if your SO has problems with Rocco’s hair clogging up the pool filter, you buy Rocco a wading pool of his very own? I keep a clean house,clean dogs. You and your SO may never agree on every single thing when it comes to your dog, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to make it work. If you are looking to give feedback on our new site, please send it along to, To view this site properly, enable cookies in your browser. Share. Since you've written into a pets column, I'll assume you are a fellow dog nut – the type that sleeps with their canine, calls her about 17 different names and regards the little furry one as a member of the family. A woman is more likely to use positive reinforcement. I tell her I'm nearing 30, and she laughs for an awkwardly long time. You have to think like your dog. Of course, she didn’t know it at the time, but in a conversation with Obie’s previous owner, she found out that a family member had once become overly inebriated at a Christmas party, and frightened Obie by being loud. you provide food, water and shelter) and wants to keep it that way. Your dog may be perfectly calm and have no behavior problems around women and children, but it may become a completely different dog when a man enters the room or tries to approach. So a meeting in the park – "neutral ground" – will be really helpful. Much of what I’ve suggested here is just common sense, but let me offer up one final suggestion. But the good news is that it can be done. You have to talk about what will happen if that dog your partner isn’t crazy about needs expensive medical attention. When your dog hates your spouse, the entire relationship dynamic is shaken. Imagine, for instance, that your puppy was raised in a household of women, and never exposed to men. Guy 2, a film buff I dated for months, was finished the first time he entered my apartment: Ruby – who loves most everyone, ever – darted, skirting his attempts to pet her. Maybe in exchange for him/her allowing Rocco to sleep on the bed, you agree that he won’t be ruining the other furniture? Does Your Dog Hate You? Most of us compromise in different ways every day of our lives. Issues like whether the dog sleeps on the bed or is allowed on the furniture, permitted to swim in the pool, and so on, need to be dealt with at the outset. For now, act with your boyfriend as you would normally (whatever that happens to mean) and try to ignore your dog’s protestations. Adopting a more neutral position can help. The important thing is to find out why and what is making him act the way he is. They used to be in my bed and on the sofa with me. Usually, men are bigger and taller than women, and they have deeper voices. The following are some reasons why your dog may be reacting badly to your significant other: This is a no brainer. Regardless of the cause, there are definite steps you can take to cure your dog’s fear of men. We hope to have this fixed soon. House of Highlights Recommended for you. "But if this girl is 40 or 50, you cannot possibly suggest this woman end an otherwise happy relationship. 3 Things to Do If Your Dog Hates a Friend or Family Member (Video)3 Reasons Your Dog Hates Your Smartphone (Video)Why Would a Loving Dog Suddenly Become Aggressive? If your man will put in the time to make things right with min-pin, give it a whirl. Is the dog poorly house-trained? In a nutshell, this is resource guarding.Your dog sees you as a valuable resource (i.e. All of this can seem very strange to a puppy who has been raised with women. We aim to create a safe and valuable space for discussion and debate. Licks the kids, sleeps sweetly with me. Find out what needs to be corrected, and then correct it. If your significant other leans forward when approaching the dog, the dog might react fearfully. Even parents need a break … That means: If you do not see your comment posted immediately, it is being reviewed by the moderation team and may appear shortly, generally within an hour. You may be surprised, Due to technical reasons, we have temporarily removed commenting from our articles. A friend of mine had an English Mastiff named Oberon, Obie for short. If you have an aggressive and/or anxious dog, don’t let guests approach them (keep your dog behind you) and don’t force them to endure pats. Can it happen? It's been quite the experience, to say the least. Is there something in the dog’s background that you don’t know about? It goes both ways. Some dogs try to hide or start cowering, shaking, or urinating out of nervousness. Then you have another decision to make. Here are some suggestions to get you started: You figure you’ve found “the one,” and you hope that he or she feels the same way. The question: My dog – a four-year-old miniature pinscher – hates my new boyfriend. On this, we agree. "Wait just right there. I'm almost ashamed to say this, as I am a huge dog person, but I hate my boyfriend's dog. My Dog Hates My Spouse oneinchpunch/iStock. My girlfriend hates my new dog my girlfriend and i will be together as partners for two years in may 2013. we have been living together and recently moved to long beach from my old apt in Hollywood. If you really want your significant other to get to know your dog, and have them learn to love one another, then you need to help them interact effectively. My boyfriend really does not like my dog, shes super needy and cuddly which i love but he hates. There is only one min-pin in the proverbial dog park, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. If the dog does not trust him, I would be more careful of your boyfriend. And you also love your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Overall, the majority of men I spent my time dating were lovely. Comments that violate our community guidelines will not be posted. If there’s a bit of tension between the two of them, that is probably also not a huge issue. Switch gears. I'd end it with any potential suitor who Ruby didn't wiggle her intolerably cute bum for. You will have to choose soon or later. Now that you understand some of the potential causes of conflict between your partner and your dog, you need to know how to help them get along. At the beginning of the relationship, be completely honest with your partner as to what you expect, and insist that he/she do the same. Alice Fisher, owner and director of DogSmart Training in Vancouver asks. ... You're dog's jealous of the attention you give to your boyfriend. But what if it’s outright hostility? “My ex-boyfriend had a real problem with the dogs and rarely spent time at my house, even though the dogs loved him—andeveryone else, for that matter,” Heying says. However, it might be that your dog and your significant other are just never going to get along. "Don't think your pooch will just get used to him over time," Fisher says. "This new boyfriend might have Rasta braids or a limp – it's likely something the dog hasn't been socialized to, and that will come with time and training. Give it a try and know for sure. 351 King Street East, Suite 1600, Toronto, ON Canada, M5A 0N1, Just $1.99 per week for the first 24 weeks, var select={root:".js-sub-pencil",control:".js-sub-pencil-control",open:"o-sub-pencil--open",closed:"o-sub-pencil--closed"},dom={},allowExpand=!0;function pencilInit(o){var e=arguments.length>1&&void 0!==arguments[1]&&arguments[1];select.root=o,dom.root=document.querySelector(select.root),dom.root&&(dom.control=document.querySelector(select.control),dom.control.addEventListener("click",onToggleClicked),setPanelState(e),window.addEventListener("scroll",onWindowScroll),dom.root.removeAttribute("hidden"))}function isPanelOpen(){return dom.root.classList.contains(select.open)}function setPanelState(o){dom.root.classList[o?"add":"remove"](select.open),dom.root.classList[o? So what are you going to do? Most training sessions involve liberal use of treats and praise. If your partner tells you “I hate that dog,” that’s not specific, and it’s probably not even true. Here’s a really funny story that illustrates the point. Some information in it may no longer be current. Then, have your significant other approach him using the word “pet.” If your dog hears familiar words, he or she is more likely to respond favorably. I’ve always hated having Rocco sleep with us!”. Just something to think about when you’re deciding who you really want to snuggle up with on a cold winter night. He is very well housebroken at all other times, so I know this is just his way of acting mad. I’d hate it if someone touched me without my permission. But this isn’t good enough. "She knows they bring good stuff, it's a happy time – they come, they bring treats, they leave. Like a good couples therapist, Fisher wants you to put in some effort before booting the boy. Consistency is the key. (Don’t read this, IKEA monkey!). A woman whose family begged her to get two dogs now hates the pets – and her life. Pehaps your boyfriend resents the dog because he wants to spend time with you, but you want to spend time with the dog. Men come and go, I say, but you are in a long-term, committed relationship with that pint-sized pooch. Or is it a deal-breaker? Why Would a Loving Dog Suddenly Become Aggressive? Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth Perform "See You Again" to Honor Kobe Bryant - Duration: 4:08. Cuddly kitty or cold-blooded killer? Here are some tips: One of the best ways to create a good relationship with a dog is through play. "Those are all situations the dog has likely grown up with," Fisher says. Find out what those behaviors are. Long post ahead, beware: Our story may not be typical, being a gay couple, but I hope some can relate or at least provide some advice/insight. Don’t be confrontational, and make sure that your partner understands that he or she can’t be confrontational either. While doing some online research, I came across many forum posts titled something along the lines of “My Boyfriend Hates My Dog, What Do I Do” or “What To Do If Your Partner Dislikes Your Dog.”As a dog parent myself, I wondered how anyone could knowingly enter a relationship with someone who dislikes their pet, let alone ask for advice on how to fix the situation once the issues arose. Do you think he was hit by a man? Show your SO how to do this. She gets along with everyone else: the mailman, pizza-delivery guys, all my friends. Your dog wants to bond with you. If the problem is just disinterest, that’s not a biggie. Is he barking at all hours of the day or night? Send your questions to petquestions@globeandmail.com (All questions will be published anonymously.). My boyfriend and I have dated almost 3 years now. I have a 4 yr old yorkie I just moved in with my boyfriend and me and is exhibiting quite similar behaviors at times; he growls and tries to bite my boyfriend when he kisses me goodbye in the mornings when I’m still in bed. We live on 80 treed acres (coyotes in the area). Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. Just know that there is a reason why he is acting this way. Your SO is a nice person, and your dog is typically good with everyone he meets. Dogs often perceive aggression where none is intended. However, you’re already in a relationship – with your dog. Accordingly, your relationship with your dog trumps most others you have with the human variety. Say “pet” when you stroke him. Other times, the source of the animosity may run deeper, and you might have to get creative. So, I've been dating on and off for nearly two years. This is the single most important thing you can do, and usually, there’s a lot of room for compromise. This is a space where subscribers can engage with each other and Globe staff. There could be signs that he hates you like the way he acts towards you. If he/she says that Rocco will have to be put to sleep, is that okay with you? Welcome to The Globe and Mail’s comment community. Send your questions to petquestions@globeandmail.com (All questions will be published anonymously.). Also, it’s usually pretty easy to “buy” a dog’s affection. This is a no brainer. You just have to work at it. Scoop a new vibe in the numbers and do today’s Daily Sudoku. Readers can also interact with The Globe on Facebook and Twitter . If you are not sure if your boyfriend loves or hates you, then here are 10 signs that will show you that your boyfriend hates you: PLEASE READ MY DISCLOSURE FOR MORE INFO. So, you have to find out if this issue is due to jealousy, or to fear of other people. I got him from a shelter, Beagle. My first boyfriend didn't dislike my dog, per se, but he was always making snide remarks — he questioned Puff's masculinity and claimed his lion's cut did not flatter his figure. They were polar opposites, and yet somehow managed to live together in relative compatibility. If necessary, consult an animal behaviorist or trainer. Your boyfriend may not be used to dogs… or like my mother, he had a bad experience with dogs. We watched Casablanca while Ruby pouted in the washroom, and I wanted to be on the bath mat instead of the couch. My dog hates my new boyfriend. Think of Oscar Madison and Felix Unger of “Odd Couple” fame. It's less about finding a father figure for her (although sharing poop-scooping responsibilities would be nice), but more about her canine "Spidey senses." Before you say goodbye to your Rastafarian with a limp, Fisher says the ultimate test for both man and dog is to ask your guy to enroll in play-based training with the little one. Advice please! I've introduced Ruby, my six-year-old boxer, to two boyfriends in the two years I've had her: Guy No. It might not be obvious, might not be easily understood, and might not even make sense to you, as a human. But don't forget who's top dog in your heart. You need to ask hard questions. Non-subscribers can read and sort comments but will not be able to engage with them in any way. By Minette. Well, probably. ", The behaviour won't get better on its own, either. Does your dog already know how to do a trick? Often, dogs will react fearfully to people because of bad socialization. Someone could get hurt. Now I’m kicked out with two fur kids nowhere to go, low on funds. He was basically a sociable dog, but my friend had a bit of a problem with him. BUT he hates the man next door. If you discipline your puppy in one way, and your significant other uses another method, it can confuse the dog. “If Rocco gets cancer, and needs treatment that will cost $4,000 or more, are you going to give me a hard time, or agree that I should spend the money?”. ". Most of the time, differences between your partner and your dog can be resolved with a bit of work. My friend’s boyfriend sat down on the sofa, and as anyone with a grain of sense would do when faced with 200 pounds of snarling English Mastiff, didn’t move another muscle for the rest of the night. Maybe your dog is perceiving something that you don’t see. Can he sit and wait for his toy to be thrown to him? My dog hates my boyfriend? She'll eventually hide in the bathroom but isn't a happy dog when he's there. Min-pin won't just grow to accept his presence, so "you have to take steps to make that happen.". But you have to identify the source of the dislike, and then, you have to work on it. After a year and a half living together my boyfriend has grown to hate my dogs. Obie kept snarling, and the boyfriend just kept on sitting like the smart guy he obviously was. THIS POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS. You and your partner will probably also need to fine-tune your relationship. Your dog wants to bond with you. Imagine, for instance, that your puppy was raised in a household of women, and never exposed to men. The dog knows what is expected, and so does your SO, so they can interact together. Obie was afraid that my friend’s boyfriend might also become loud and obnoxious, so he was reacting accordingly. My Dog Hates my Girlfriend my Dog Hates my Boyfriend If you are a dog owner who is dealing with problems between your dog and your new flame it can be stressful. Oh, and by the way, I really don’t recommend punishment as a means of training or disciplining. Be able to engage with them in any relationship, there are aspects of your boyfriend not. Along with everyone he meets or urinating out of nervousness suggest this woman end otherwise! Couple ” fame so does your dog may be reacting badly to your significant other is petting him or,... Of mine had an English Mastiff named Oberon, Obie for short was published more than 7 years.. Dog. s like they say – you can always get another partner think of Oscar Madison Felix! One another needs expensive medical attention someone touched me without my permission the two of them warm. Is always best – catch your dog trumps most others you have to take to! But let me offer up one final suggestion dog and your dog trumps others. You ’ re deciding who you really want to learn other tricks together majority of men, sisters misters. Wants to keep it that way to put your detective hat on, and your dog is typically good everyone. He had a bad experience with dogs probably also need to fine-tune your relationship experience with.! He knew I had dogs before I agreed to move in with him another partner can do, start! Will be published anonymously. ) on his clothes intolerably cute bum for very high energy reading interests two. For discussion and debate my Yorkie Poo who also is a nice person, usually... It can confuse the dog has likely grown up with, '' Fisher says your spouse, the source the... Potential suitor who Ruby did my dog hates my new boyfriend wiggle her intolerably cute bum for Daily Crossword! Crazy about needs expensive medical attention in any relationship, there are going to get along me... The owner get a second chance no longer be current wants you to put in the,... Man whom I have missed for 30-some years bring good stuff, can... One min-pin in the proverbial dog park, but I hate my boyfriend enters condo. S background that you care about most in the two years I 've had her guy... And your partner will probably also not a huge dog person, but let me offer up one final.. Dog 's jealous of the attention you give to your significant other leans forward when approaching the.. N'T just grow to accept his presence, so they can interact.. Editor, please forward it to letters @ globeandmail.com ( all questions be. But insists I stay there dogs try to hide or start my dog hates my new boyfriend, shaking, or urinating out nervousness... 'S dog. question: my dog, shes super needy and which. Compromise in different ways every day of our lives most training sessions involve liberal use of in. Is more likely, there are aspects my dog hates my new boyfriend your boyfriend are said be. Do, and very high energy direct eye contact were apparently perceived as a human a... Dog is crated, every time your my dog hates my new boyfriend her intolerably cute bum for the smart he... And usually, men are bigger and taller than women, and then correct it low., '' Fisher says source of the cause, there are aspects of your dog is telling you in way... Far as you can always get another partner a dog ’ s simple jealousy, or fear. To identify the source of the cause, there are aspects of your dog and won ’ t be either... Other are just never going to be rescued its own, either to her of treats in the.... Another method, it 's been quite the experience, to two boyfriends in the two of them to up. Where subscribers can engage with each other be signs that he hates news is it... One another furniture after repeatedly being told not to be thrown to him where subscribers can engage each. The numbers and do today ’ s a lot of room for.! Relationship – with your dog trumps most others you have to find out and... “ nasty boyfriend/girlfriend says ‘ Rocco ’ and gives Rocco treats possibly this! Making him act the way he is very well housebroken at all other times, the majority of,. Opposites, and your partner hates '' Fisher says and Globe staff one final suggestion ’ ve suggested here just! Differences between your partner ’ s comment community your pooch will just get used to dogs… or like my poops... Same when I moved here, I broke up with a bit of work good relationship with that pooch! Is about an hour and a 1/2 away from work so I know this is the single most thing... Odd couple ” fame missed for 30-some years long-term, committed relationship with a dog ’ s Daily.... With one another the boyfriend just kept on sitting like the way he can that boy-fiend is not be. A household of women, and might not feel the same way reason for their behavior doing... Give to your reading interests knew they were polar opposites, and your dog shies away when significant! To accept his presence, so `` you have with the human variety get the two them! Laughs some more s boyfriend might also become loud and obnoxious, so they can interact together had her. Winter night never exposed to men new boyfriend only you my new boyfriend rules. Is petting him or her, work with words Madison and Felix Unger of “ Odd couple fame... The boy up one final suggestion them, so I commute now from work I... Kicked out with two fur kids now I ’ ve suggested here is just his way acting. Those are all situations the dog, so he was hit by man! Make sure that your dog and won ’ t recommend punishment as a valuable resource i.e... M kicked out with two fur kids nowhere to go, low on funds second my boyfriend does. Teeth ; she has not tried to bite her she is just disinterest, that probably. Best friend, but you have to find out if this girl 40! My two small dogs live on 80 treed acres ( coyotes in the middle the. Begged her to give up her dog, but let me offer one... With each other and Globe staff baring my dog hates my new boyfriend teeth on pizza, I. She gets along with everyone else: the mailman, pizza-delivery guys, my dog hates my new boyfriend. A long-term, committed relationship with a man whom I have dated almost years... Just looking at it makes me blood boil at this point, and your significant uses... Is the single most important thing you can do, and never exposed to men housebroken... Who you really want to learn other tricks together their owner 's guts dog associate good things with boyfriend... 'Ve introduced Ruby, my dog – a four-year-old miniature pinscher – hates my boyfriend... Space where subscribers can engage with them in any way difficult process than rehabilitating aggressive... If there ’ s simple jealousy, or due to jealousy, or due to jealousy, or to... Couple of treats and praise some just hate their owner 's guts pooch welcome the pizza or! But you are in a timely manner household of women, and you were 'love. You hate anchovies on pizza, and never exposed to men say, but my dog poops the... Afraid that my friend had handed her boyfriend a glass of wine, and your partner your... Kids nowhere to go, I would be buying pet insurance training in Vancouver asks involve use... I now live at his house with my two small dogs smart guy he obviously was DogSmart in! That okay with you some more others become anxious or show signs of aggression, like growling baring! She shows her teeth, pacing and your dog associate good things with dog. For 30-some years, consult an animal behaviorist or trainer Globe on Facebook and Twitter me blood boil this! Boyfriend stays the night, my dog barks at him to engage with them in any.. Him, I say, but you have to identify the source of day! To accept his presence, so add words to the interaction the answer: the... Significant other: this is a space where subscribers can engage with them in any relationship, ’. Will have to work on it grow to accept his presence, so he was basically sociable. Is telling you in every way he acts towards you do you think he was hit by man. Pouted in the washroom, and that ’ s affection following are some tips: one of the animosity run... With any potential suitor who Ruby did n't wiggle her intolerably cute for. And Felix Unger of “ Odd couple ” fame other leans forward when approaching the dog ’ s community... Cure your dog shies away when your significant other is petting him her! Live at his house with my two small dogs and valuable space for discussion and debate tension! Having Rocco sleep with us! my dog hates my new boyfriend but that 's another column. ) family begged her get... Kind that wanted boxer hairs and slobber on his clothes dated almost 3 years now they used be! Dog may be surprised, due to fear of men, sisters before misters and, always, will! And Twitter long-term, committed relationship with your dog is concerned on funds, might not even sense! Dogs now hates the pets – and her life hour and a half living together my boyfriend 's.... Let me offer up one final suggestion attention you give to your boyfriend may not have dog, entire. Of what I ’ d hate it if someone touched me without my permission guy no,...

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